a humble princess, pursued by the King, in the greatest fairy tale ever written

it’s okay to be yourself

on May 18, 2013

I thought about coming up with a title for this blog of mine, but I have no idea what I could call it. The idea is to write about anything and everything, and shit gets crazy sometimes. 

 Every summer, I read the “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants” series. This will be the tenth round, I think. I thought about not reading them, you know, “growing up.” But then I thought about Bridget. 

 Of all the books I’ve read, and all the movies and tv  I’ve watched, Bridget is the character I can really identify with. Whenever things happen in my life, I wonder what Bridget would do. And normally, I do something similar. 

 Bridget loves easily, but she also gets hurt easily. She falls hard and at that fall, she has a hard time recovering. She sort of hides from the world, but depends on her friends to love her and help her pick herself back up. She loves life and never runs from a dare. My favorite quote about Bridget is that she’s “single minded to the point of recklessness.” 

 All my friends know these things about me. Nothing I do surprises them. Ever. Even when I surprise myself, my friends are there, laughing with me, not being surprised at all. 

 What does surprise me is how little Alex knows about me. Since he’s broke up with me, I’ve been struggling in every way possible. And my struggles seem to catch Alex off guard. Which is nit my fault, because before we even dated last summer, I told him about my crazy antics in past relationships. 

Last week I went to his place one night to try to understand why he broke up with me. Obviously I wasn’t welcome, but I’m a hell of a fighter (you’re as strong as your head, and I have a thick skull). I kind if got some answers, but not really. What really spoke to me was realizing that Alex didn’t know me at all. And now I’ve had a few days to reflect on it, and it really surprises me. I never hid anything about myself from him. Anything my closest friends know about me, he had the opportunity to see it too-most of it before we even started dating. And then I thought, do I really want to be with someone who doesn’t know me, after almost a year? Probably not.

Realistically, I’ll probably never date again. But that’s okay, because I have fantastic friends. When I told them about going to Alex’s and confronting him, they all laughed at the details. One even said, “Alex starting to piss me off.” This was after I told the story about knocking with my full body weight until he opened the door, refusing to leave when asked, putting up a physical fight and refusing to leave when dragged, yelling, sitting in front of the door so Alex couldn’t leave, etc (I’ll spare the semi-entertaining details), and my friend said Alex was pissing him off. Because we dated for 10 months and he should know me by now.

 Like Bridget, I’m single minded and reckless. But also like Bridget, I have friends who love me and know these things and continue to love me. Not just 3 close friends, but I think I told 10 close friends about this confrontation. These ladies and gentlemen stand by my side always, and I can’t believe how blessed I am. I thought maybe I had done something wrong, but everything I do, they laugh about and say, “it’s okay, Shannon! That’s just how you are! And you deserve someone who knows and accepts those quirks.” I cannot believe how blessed I am.


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