Blessed

a humble princess, pursued by the King, in the greatest fairy tale ever written

Culture and Relationships

on November 12, 2013

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This picture describes my life right now. And when I say my life- I mean the lives of those around me. “Everyone” is getting engaged. My best friend got engaged less than 2 weeks ago and wedding plans are well underway (I get to be a bridesmaid so I’m excited about that). I recently found out that a couple of the guys I work with in one of my classes are engaged. I got the “I’m engaged!” text from another friend just last night-ring picture included. One of my guy friends told me that he’ll be getting engaged this month. I saw at least a dozen announcements over Facebook this weekend concerning engagements and upcoming wedding plans.

And the majority of these friends…are right around my age or younger. So that statistic about people postponing getting married until they’re in their later 20’s- forget it. I’m not yet 23 and I can rattle off many people younger than I who are planning to get married in the next 12 months.

I’m actually going to a wedding this weekend of some friends that I’ve known since my first day at college. And I’ll be attending this wedding…most likely alone. I had asked a good friend of mine who knows the couple if he’d come with me, and that was the plan. But so far, he hasn’t been able to find a sub for work yet.

I’ve never been to a wedding alone before. They’ve always been family weddings or I had a boyfriend at the time who came with me. But now… there’s the one male friend I asked. And if he can’t go, there are zero male backups. I spent all last weekend trying to think of a guy who I’d be willing to spend a Saturday with, and couldn’t come up with a single one. And you know what?

I’m happy about that. I’m happy that I’m content with this stage in my life. I’m not lonely or jealous because many of my friends are getting married. I’m actually worried about some of them because I don’t think they’re prepared. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being in love, getting married, and planning to spend your life with someone. We were designed for companionship (Genesis 1-2). The thing that I see is that so many people aren’t getting married with that theory in mind. Most of the girls I know who are getting married are just excited to have a wedding and finally get to use that Pinterest board they’ve been creepily pinning on for the past 3 years (before they even had a boyfriend).

What’s going to happen after the wedding? Why is nobody planning for that part of their lives?

In a big way, I’m really lucky to be at this stage of my life. Just a few months ago, I thought I’d definitely be engaged by the end of 2013. And now here I am, as single as one could possibly be. I don’t even have “family roots” to tie me down. And I’m so blessed by this! I don’t have to plan anything. I’m at such a great time to take life as it comes, and with my “new” relationship with God, I can definitely handle anything that comes my way. I have goals and aspirations, but they include nobody but myself and God. And I have such beautiful dreams about a girl who can change the world.

And you know who’s trying to trample down those dreams? Society. My parents & family. General culture who believes that a girl needs a man in her life to be complete. That’s such bulls**t. On Saturday I found out my wedding date might not be able to come next weekend and I made the mistake of telling my mom. Here we are, 3 days later, and she’s still spouting out possible guys I could ask. (I’m not even going to get into how offended I am by her choices. This might be selfish of me, but I just can’t picture spending a Saturday in the company of someone I don’t want to be near if I’m not getting paid.)

When did “no” stop meaning “no?” Where is the culture that celebrates singleness as Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 7? I’ve never been as happy and joyful as I am right now-since I’ve left the “idol of romance” in the dust and moved on to become the woman Christ wants me to be.

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