a humble princess, pursued by the King, in the greatest fairy tale ever written

Am I too content?

on February 14, 2014

Here I am again, in a situation where I feel so “strange” for not wishing for my life to be any different. It’s Valentine’s Day, and there are a bazillion reasons I dislike this day. The big thing is that it annoys me (it really, really bothers me way down deep in my heart) how so many people choose one day of the year to treat their significant other as if he/she is special. I’m sorry, but whenever I have a significant other, Valentine’s Day is nothing special-because I simply require to be treated as if I’m special every single day. (And of course, that’s how I treat my significant other as well-right now my “significant others” are my best girlfriends, and I’m not sorry about that.)

Here I am again, reminded (as I am on a very regular basis) that I have no “special guy” to spend the day with. I don’t have a guy to text all day, I don’t have anyone to go on dates with, I don’t have a guy to take weekend trips with. I’m not alone-many of my female friends are single, and I do so many things with them on a regular basis that, quite frankly, I don’t have enough time to even text a guy during my lunch hour. I don’t have a guy in my life, but I have so many friends that I’m never alone- especially because when I am alone, that’s my Jesus time 🙂

But one thing I’ve noticed that separates me from most of the other single ladies in their mid-20’s that I know, is that I’m perfectly content.

At one of my Bible studies earlier this week, we talked about the fruit of the Spirit. One thing that came up is how often we are jealous of what others have. One of the girls was talking to another about how she feels the sting whenever someone gets engaged, has a baby, etc, and the other girl was nodding. And I chimed in with, “Oh. Well…I don’t have that kind of jealousy. Mine is way different (more like I’ll be jealous of somebody’s fancy new boots or something shallow like that).” The first girl turned to me and said, “You’re not jealous when everyone is growing up and getting married?” And you know, she gave me that look. Like, not only am I really weird for not feeling that way, but maybe she didn’t quite believe it.

And… I do feel weird. Mandy Hale is the only woman I know (well…I don’t personally know her) who celebrates her singleness so vibrantly. Her book is spectacular and so is her website  and don’t forget to check out her Facebook page! I realized just today that much of my time I spend with single friends is spent discussing relationships/significant others/our lack of such a thing. And I find myself getting caught up in the whole “I want to find someone” thing.

But the truth is, I don’t. When I’m alone with my thoughts and not surrounded by “the pressure,” I’m really happy the way things are in my life. It’s not that I don’t like to change-after what happened to me in 2013, change is spectacular and I embrace it with open arms. I went to a wedding by myself last fall and had more fun than I’ve ever had at a wedding before. I get to spend all my alone time in silent prayer or reading a book- I’m not obligated to watch television or something with a “significant other.”

I’m getting ready to move into the house/acreage of my dreams- because nobody is holding me back. I have a job I love in a town I love because I didn’t have to move somewhere with somebody. (These situations are current, real-life situations that some non-single friends of mine are facing right now.)

I get to pick out a dog that I want and I get to grow whatever I want in my garden because the only person I have to feed is myself. I don’t have to worry about trying to make sure someone else likes what I’m making for supper. (I often host feasts/suppers with friends and those are different situations.) I get to spend my money the way that I want to, and I get to give away as much of it as I want, because my expenses are the only thing I have to be concerned about, and they are quite minimal at the current time. I get to spend my time however I want, and I never have to worry if I’m hurting someone’s feelings- or if someone is about to hurt me.

My favorite thing about my singleness though, is the time I get to spend with God. I spent a lot of time explaining how I like to do whatever I want, but the truth is, I do whatever I want when I’m in a relationship as well. But this time with God-that’s the gift of singleness. I spend every waking moment with Him, and oftentimes, I know He’s with me when I sleep and it’s so comforting. Besides doing whatever I want for myself, I’m able to serve God wholeheartedly, because my only responsibilities are to Him. I can take mission trips to wherever I want, because I won’t be leaving anyone behind to miss me. I get to live the life that Paul writes about in his letter to the Corinthians:

I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

I love my current stage in life, where I’m single and free to be me. You can be the judge on whether or not I’m too content. But as for myself, I’ve prayed a lot to get to this point (of enjoying being “single”) and I intend to enjoy every minute of it. Life is short-live it and love it! And don’t forget-no matter what stage of life you’re in, God is your best friend and His love never fails-you can’t go wrong with loving Him first and foremost. James 1:17, 1 John 4 (the whole chapter), and Matthew 28:20 are some of my favorite verses to remind me that God’s love is best because it’s always the same and it never changes, no matter what I do or where I’m at in life. And I will say this- having a relationship with God has brought me more joy than anything else in life, and I know that as long as my faith and trust is in Him, I’ll have the power to be content in all circumstances (Philippians 4:11).


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