Blessed

a humble princess, pursued by the King, in the greatest fairy tale ever written

let’s take “serious” seriously

on July 23, 2014

“Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but we’re in a serious relationship, so what’s your last name?”

(Sorry for getting that song stuck in your head. But I wanted to make a point.)

Lately I’ve been noticing a trend where people meet, and then suddenly, like the next day, they are in a serious romantic relationship. Yes, they probably know each other’s last names before they’re “Facebook official,” but only because it says so in their profile.

Maybe it’s because I’m such a wild child, but I can’t imagine such a situation. (Granted, my last relationship was close, and that’s what we call a “learning curve.” AND I worked side by side with the guy for a solid month before we started dating, so it did seem like I knew him pretty well.)

These couples I’m talking about are people we’ve all seen. And you know what tends to happen?

They are obsessive. The guy texts the girl all the time, likes everything she posts on social media, etc. The girl starts posting all kinds of pictures of the two of them for all the world to see, expects to spend every evening together, etc.

And then sometime between a few days later & a couple months later, it all falls apart.

A couple weeks later, the cycle starts over. (Again, this might be a bit exaggerated, but we’ve all seen this be the case.)

And maybe I’m just a little behind times, but I can’t see a situation where I would make my relationship FBO until I felt comfortable thinking there’s a good chance we’ll make it all the way. Maybe most people think this on a first date-to be honest, I don’t have any survey data to confirm or deny that.

As for me, I would never want to consider a relationship to be “serious” until the other person made it clear that our goals and dreams are in line. For me that’s the biggest hindrance to even going as far as a second date. I have dreams and goals that are extremely clear, and usually the guy I’m with seems like he’s ready to bring those down.

Maybe that’s the prominent wild & crazy coming out in me, or maybe it’s just coming from past experiences. I’ve been miserable in situations where my boyfriend wasn’t on the same page as I was, and I was looking at compromising my dreams. (Luckily, God knows better and rescued me.) In these situations, if you’ve just been on a couple casual dates, then it’s no problem to call it off. But if you’ve been pouring your life into this person for most of your time the past few months, changing yourself to fit with them, etc, the breakup is real and hard.

So I challenge you to think about what you’re doing in your relationships. I’m by no means saying there’s a certain time frame to denote being “serious” because I realize that varies from situation to situation. But I do want you to consider knowing someone for a while, meeting their family, listening to their dreams, before you consider your relationship to be “serious.” Because it’s hard for practical realistic people, like myself, to take you seriously if you just bounce from one “serious” relationship to another.

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